How to Hide My Dildo - 38 Sneaky Spots

Keeping your sex toys out of sight can be a bit of an art form, especially if you share your living space with others. Whether you’re living with your parents, have nosy roommates, or just want to keep things private, here’s a fun and practical guide to 38 clever places where you can discreetly hide your dildo (or any other sex toys) without anyone being the wiser.

Why Bother Hiding a Dildo?

You might be wondering why anyone would need to hide a dildo. For some folks, tossing it in the nightstand might be all they need to do. But if you live with family, have little ones who love to explore, or share a space with someone who doesn’t need to know your business, you’ll want to find a more secure spot.

Before You Tuck It Away…

Before you tuck your dildo away, make sure it’s clean! Giving your toy a good wash before hiding it will keep it free from any dirt, dust, or other unsavory things. Also, consider wrapping it in a soft cloth or a dedicated toy bag to keep it safe from prying eyes and lint.

1. Drawer Stash: The Sock and Undie Trick

One of the first places you might think to hide a dildo is in a drawer, but let’s get strategic about it. Consider the drawers that people are less likely to open, like where you keep your socks and underwear. Slip your dildo into a sock or wrap it in a pair of undies, then tuck it away at the back of the drawer. Alternatively, if you’ve got a drawer for off-season clothes, like those bulky sweaters you only wear in winter, that’s a perfect spot too.

2. Under Furniture: The Sneaky Slide

Take a look around your room—does your dresser or chest of drawers have a decorative base? If so, you’ve got yourself a prime hiding spot! Just slide your wrapped toy into one of the openings where it meets the floor, and voilà, your toy has vanished from view.

3. Other Drawer and Cabinet Hideouts

If your bedroom drawers are too obvious, think outside the box—or rather, outside the bedroom! Here are some other places around the house where you can cleverly conceal your dildo:

• Top Kitchen Cabinet: The one above the fridge or sink that no one ever bothers with.

• TV Stand: The back of the TV stand has plenty of nooks and crannies.

• Laundry Shelf: The shelf above your washing machine is another great spot.

• Bookshelf: Hide it in a basket or box on your bookshelf.

• Storage Ottoman: These are practically made for sneaky storage.

• Game Table: Who’s going to look there? Exactly.

• Tall Vase: Pop it into a tall vase in your curio cabinet.

4. Stuff It: Plush Toys and Pillows

If you’ve got a plush toy, pillow, or duvet cover, you’ve got a perfect hiding spot. Simply cut open a seam, remove a bit of stuffing, and tuck your dildo inside. Stitch it back up and no one will be the wiser!

5. Under the Bed: The Dust-Free Hideaway

Hiding your dildo under the bed is a classic move, but it needs to be done right. Don’t just roll it under there where it’ll collect dust! Wrap it in a small towel and place it in a storage box or bag under the bed. For the more adventurous, you can even cut a small hole in the edge of your box spring and slip it inside. Out of sight, out of mind!

6. Closet Hideouts: The Not-So-Obvious Spots

Your closet is full of potential hiding spots. Here are some ideas to keep your toy safe and sound:

• Inside a Shoe or Boot: Tuck it into one of your less-used pairs.

• Coat or Hoodie Pocket: Slip it into a pocket where no one will check.

• Suit or Dress Bag: Hang it up inside a garment bag.

• Inside Luggage: Great for those suitcases you only use once a year.

• Sports Duffle or Bowling Bag: Perfect for sports gear storage.

• File Box: Hide it among your important papers.

• Lock Box: For extra security, lock it up.

• Closet Safe: If you have one, this is a no-brainer.

• Hat: Store it inside a hat you don’t wear often.

• Unused Purse or Tote Bag: Another sneaky spot in your closet.

7. Bathroom Hiding Spots: The Secret Stash

If your bathroom is attached to your bedroom, it’s a convenient place to hide your toys. Here are some ideas:

• Under the Sink: Behind all the cleaning products and toiletries.

• Cosmetic or Travel Bag: Tuck it away in a bag you don’t use daily.

• Bathroom Drawers and Closets: These are often overlooked, making them great hiding spots.

8. Lock It Up: The Ultimate Security

For those who want extra protection, locking up your dildo is the way to go. Consider these options:

• Lock Box or Safe: Ideal for keeping your toy secure.

• Desk Drawer with a Lock: Another safe spot if you have it.

• Luggage Lock: Turn a double-zippered bag into a locked storage solution.

9. Garage Hideouts: The Unlikely Spot

Sometimes, you need to get creative and think outside the house. The garage offers plenty of hiding spots:

• Tent Bag: Slide it into a tent bag.

• Yoga Mat: Roll it up in a yoga mat.

• Toolbox: Hide it among your tools.

• Watering Can: A clever spot that no one will suspect.

• Behind Boxes on a Shelf: Out of sight, out of mind.

• Car Glove Compartment: If you’re really in a pinch.

• Shop Vac: Who’s going to look in there?

• Christmas Decorations Box: Seasonal storage at its finest.

• Car Wash Bucket: Another sneaky spot.

Wrapping It Up

Whether you’re looking for a quick hideaway or a more secure storage solution, these 38 ideas will help you keep your dildo out of sight and out of mind. With a little creativity and planning, you can stash your toys in a way that keeps them private and safe from prying eyes.